Abide With Me

As the Hymn sweetly states in "Abide With Me"  I need Thy presence every passing hour; What by Thy grace can foil the tempters power. Who like Thyself, my guide and stay can be? Through cloud and sunshine Lord abide with me. I fear no foe, with Thee at hand to bless; Ills have no weight and tears no bitterness; Where is death's sting? Where grave, thy victory. I triumph still if though abide with me  Hold Thou Thy cross before my closing eyes; Shine through the gloom and point me to the skies, Heaven's morning breaks, and earth's vain shadows flee; In life, In death, O Lord abide with me.

I have been blessed to have had many people in my life that I know the Savior, Jesus Christ has sent. I would like to dedicate this post to Bishop Glenn and Lynnette Judd. I grew up from the time I was 8 knowing these wonderful people. Bishop Judd was our home teacher for years, and his sweet wife Lynnette came with him.  They lived just up the block and around the corner from us. I also grew up knowing their sons and daughters, as well as their grandchildren. They are the kindest family and I have a huge part of my heart within those connections.

They have slowed down, their bodies tired, but their testimony's as strong as ever.  Two weeks ago my Mom called and told me that Sister Judd had passed away. My heart ached for her and her sweet husband and family.  Just after the family prayer was offered the day they laid her to rest Bishop Judd knelt down and kissed her one last time on this earth, he then sweetly whispered, I will see you in a couple of days.  He passed away nine days later. They were married 71 years.  Whenever I saw them they were holding hands and always happy.  They helped me through boys, dating and heartbreak.  They also taught me the most important relationship is with our Savior, Jesus Christ.  It is comforting to know that the Savior assured Bishop Judd that he would not have to wait long to be with his loving wife Lynnette.

Through life and now death, their testimony's continue to teach me.  I want that sweet and tender love in  my life.  Someone who will go through this life with me and into eternity.  I pray every day that one day when my Father in Heaven will have found that person for me, that I can experience the love that I know the Judd's had for each other.

I loved every minute of General Conference. I love the leaders of our church and the examples that they are to me.  I am thankful that the Lord knows who I am and sends such special people into my life that I call friends.

I am grateful beyond measure for this Easter season and for the true meaning of Easter. I am grateful for the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ.  I am thankful for the atonement that He bore for me.  I am humbled at the sacrifice He bore as hung on the cross for me. I have a strong and steadfast testimony of these truths. 

There are so many sweet and tender people in my life that have left imprints forever in my heart.  I believe the imprints and people in my circle of family and friends are a direct gift and an eternal blessing.

I am grateful for a loving Father who blesses me, when I struggle to understand why certain burdens are placed upon us. I know that I need to push forward with a steadfastness in Christ and endure to the end as we have learned in the scriptures.  I believe in miracles, I believe in timing and I know that the Savior knows me.

So as we will say Goodbye on Saturday, for Bishop Judd, I will have a prayer in my heart for the miracle he and his wife Lynnette have always been for me.  For their family and the blessings that have come into my life through my association with each of them.

God be with you til we meet again.


Feeling Broken and Thankful

Hello Friends and family,

It is 3am and I am wide awake.  I think that I should have been born a vampire!  Tonight I have so many thoughts running through my head and I am not sure how to place them each in their own compartment so I thought I would share a few of them here.

This past month has been interesting to say the least!  I ended up back at my favorite resort, McKay Dee Hospital with MRSA and cellulitis in my foot and leg.  It actually was really scary.  I have tried to downplay how I felt when I was laying in a hospital bed once again feeling sicker than I have for a very long time.  I am not sure why the Lord has chosen to allow me to experience health challenges.  I have begun to get used to physical pain however it takes a toll on me emotionally at times.  This bout with MRSA was a tough one.  I do not remember every hurting so much before.  I am sure I have probably said that before, but I tend to forgot how much something hurts when I hurt more often physically than I even realize.  I told my Mom in the emergency room that if they could not help me I wanted to die. I usually try not to let her know how scared I am at times.  She listened and reassured me that I would be okay.  If my Mom tells me I will be okay, I believe her.  She also was taking pictures of my foot with her phone, which at the time I did not find humor in but I do now... I am just thankful she did not post them on facebook. HA!

It has been two weeks today since I was in the hospital.  I cope better if I just push through the pain and try to focus on other things.  I remember the second night it was probably close to 3:30 am like it is now and I was hurting so much, I had called the nurse and asked her for pain medicine.  She was her way to my room and I was praying with everything I could muster up at the time that I could make it until she came and gave me the medication in my IV.  It was just moments later that she came in and I felt much better after the meds. I was foggy to say the least but while I was laying there I thought of how great the pain would have been if the Savior had not endured so much of my pain in the Garden of Gethsemane.  I silently thanked Him for his precious gift so that I could rest. I realized in the dark that night that He was with me.  That in the silence of that room he waited with me until the pain could be controlled. There are no words I can ever express to Him for his unconditional love for me.

I am very thankful for the First Presidency and the apostles of our church.  I am thankful for their love and compassion for each member of the gospel.  I am grateful that we have the opportunity to listen and be blessed through them.

I was praying tonight and thought of Elder Holland and my sweet friend Kenneth Cope.  Kenneth wrote a song several years ago entitled "Broken" that song has comforted me many days and nights when I have been broken.  Elder Holland teaches me every time I hear him talk. He is such a sweet and gentle man and I soak up every word I hear.  Without sharing something very sacred, I know that the Lord listens, hears us and sends people into our lives for a specific season. 

I am so thankful for my friends. There are days my heart is broken when I think of my little girl sitting on the Savior's lap instead of mine.  I miss her. I know there are other mothers that have experienced the loss of a child through miscarriage, but unless you have walked that terrible road it is hard to understand how broken your heart is everyday. When I lost her, I lost a part of me.  The Savior has a way of comforting us I believe in ways that we individually need.  In my case, I thank Him for my sweet friend Lindsay Cutler. She is such a gift to me and her children have replaced some of the sorrow I feel with such sweet and tender moments I spend with them.  I love it when the babies, especially Kate will rest her head on my shoulder.  I try to soak up every moment I can and sneak all the kisses I can to her.  I look into those little eyes of Kate who is feisty and sweet and long for my baby, but realize how blessed I am to have that little baby who seems to know when I need her most.  I am thankful to Dave and Lindsay for sharing Jett, Kate and Lexie with me.  They have provided much needed comfort, laughter and love.  There are no words to express the love I feel for them.

The Savior brought another sweet friend into my life during last summer.  We immediately became good friends and I treasure the time  I spend with him.  I was told not long ago that I needed to share the best part of me with him.  It has really made me search and ponder what the best part of me really is. It is a journey that I am still on. I do know how blessed I am and how thankful I am for my friend and for the gift his friendship is to me. To be honest, I have no idea what the Lord has in store, but I trust it because I trust Him.  I am thankful that we are given promptings and time to search with all of our hearts how we can best serve each other and serve the Lord.  I love my friend, I love the man who shared his promptings with me so that I could do my part.  I really am the one who has been blessed in my friendship with my sweet friend and I am so thankful for his example to me, for his ability to make me laugh and for his gentle words that provide comfort as we travel this journey together.

I am thankful that I am broken and that the Savior will heal me, He will heal all of us as we place our hearts and trust with Him.

I love the gospel.  I love the Savior. I love that He knows the end from the beginning and walks silently beside each of us. 

Have a great Sunday!  Let's talk soon.



Hello friends and family,

I cannot believe another year has passed by so quickly! This year I have many things I am thankful for.  My family is my greatest blessing, there are no words to express the love I have for each of them in my heart.  I have loving brothers, a sister, nieces and nephews and cousins that I love deeply.  I am grateful for the laughter and the tears that we share together through the years.  I have been blessed with a Mother that is also my best friend.  I don't know what I did to get to be her daughter but I am profoundly grateful for her.  She has always been there for me.  In good times and in bad.  She loves me unconditionally and I thank my Heavenly Father for every day and every minute I have with her.  I have also been blessed with two fathers.  My dad passed away from lung cancer 13 years ago. He taught me some difficult lessons during his time here on earth and while our relationship was somewhat strained he loved me in the only way he knew how and for that I am grateful.  I also have been blessed with a wonderful step-father who has been like the kind of father I always dreamed of having as a child.  He is fun, he loves me, he helps me and inspires me to be better.  I often wonder what I did to have a Dad who is there for me whenever I need him.

I am thankful for my friends.  I am one very lucky girl who has been blessed with the best friends.  I am so grateful for the laughter, the tears and all of the fun memories and times I have with them. I feel so lucky to have friends I had since grade school, high school, college and in life.  I love to laugh and have the best time when I am around all of you.  I am thankful for your examples in my life.  You have each touched me in ways that I can never repay you for. I am so thankful for the times we get together and visits on the phone that keep us connected.  I know time is hard to come by and I appreciate every moment I spend connecting with all of you.  I love you all deeply!

I am thankful for my home and my neighbors.  I am grateful for my crazy basset hound, she drives me crazy but she also has saved my life several times.  I am so thankful for the nights when my sugar drops and she instinctively knows to wake me up.  She has known from the time she was six weeks old and I am lucky to have her.  She also is funny and keeps me laughing.

I am thankful for the gospel for our Prophet, his counselors and apostles.  I am deeply humbled by their examples in my life.  I am grateful beyond measure for what they teach me and how much they love each of us.

I am thankful for personal revelation.  I am learning more everyday how to "Be Still and know that I (He) is God" and is there for us both in sunlight and in rain.  If we are still and listen we can hear Him teach us in those tender moments.

I am thankful for music and for the gift of singing that the Savior has blessed my life with.  I did not think I would ever sing again after two huge blood clots passed through my heart and into my lungs.  While there has been significant damage my little voice is in there.

I am thankful for the future and for the promise of a new day.  I want to make the most of every day.  Spend time with those I love and express my love to them.  Thank you for sharing your time with me.

I am thankful for a loving Savior, for His atoning sacrifice and for the beautiful blessings that He bore for me.  There are no words to express my deep and abiding love for him. 

Thank you all for being a part of my life.  Thank you for your friendships, your laughter, sharing your sweet babies and life in general with me.  I am a better person because of all of you.

As I spend the weekend and holiday with family, I wish all of you the blessings of your heart.  Let's stay in touch!


What I know....

Hello friends and family,

I have started this post several times, left it and then came back to it and here we are once again.  I went through some of my old blogs, I was a mess for several years.  In looking back at how sad I was and what I was going through really made me reflect on how far I have come and how far I still have to go.

Life has a funny way of teaching you lessons that you never expected to learn.  I have found this out recently.  I have to thank my Father in Heaven and His Son, Jesus Christ for the past three years.  I have learned so much about love, faith and simply believing in things that are not seen, but felt.  I have to say that I would not trade a moment of the pain that I have endured for anything.  It actually has been a gift and a great learning experience for me.

Life changes quickly and all of a sudden you are standing in Holy Places with people and learning how much the Lord loves you, despite all of the mistakes that we sometimes make in this life.  I am grateful beyond words for the places and people that He has sent into my life.  I can never repay Him for these treasured gifts that He has given me.

I had the opportunity to sit down and visit with someone I consider one of my greatest hero's and mentors.  It was still and sweet and answered many long awaited questions to my heart and mind.  It has made me a different person, I want to be better, I want to love more and express that love to everyone. 

One of most simple and profound things that we can do in this life is express our love to each other.  So, if I start telling you I love you and I have not done that before, accept my apology for not doing so and accept the fact that I may be telling you often..:)

I am so grateful for a friend of mine who has helped my tackle one of my biggest and most emotional issues in my life.  My weight.  It will be a long journey.  But I can say now that I am ready to take it.  It is so strange to see me actually be willing to talk about my weight and I have someone who loves me unconditionally and wants to help me not because he has too, but because he wants too.  I will keep you posted as to my progress, it a new beginning and will be a long road, but I am optimistic and ready for change.

I am excited to finally be well enough to be working from home and hope to be back in full swing the first of the year.

For the first time in a while, I have seen the sun again.  It was a long winter and I am grateful for the seasons and what each one has taught me.

I am thankful for a loving family.  I struck the jackpot with good parents and siblings that teach me through their examples.

My voice is coming back slowly, but it is in there somewhere. With all of the damage done to my lungs, I really worried that I would never sing again.  When I hit my half way point with my weight loss, I am going to record a song about the journey (with a little help from my friends) and then when I am at my goal, start working on a project with several songs...

Well it is late, which is not a shock I am sure to any of you.  I love you all and am thankful for your examples in my life.  I could not do it without you!!

Karley   XOXOXO

Hello my friends, Hello! (Nothing to worry about, just sounded like a Neil Diamond song for a minute!)

Hi Friends and Family,

I am back!  That was a nice little year since I posted last!  I am such a slacker!!  Life continues to have a surprise around every corner for me.  I am thankful to have a great family and wonderful friends who laugh and cry with me... (This often can happen in the same conversation at times!)

I am hanging in there. My health is back on track, however my back is another story.  I have 6 herniated disc's and sciatica in my lower back... not so much fun, I would not recommend have a back that is limiting when you are ready to get back to life!

I spent almost five years under the radar from speaking in my ward.  Sunday, that came to an end.  I spoke about how the Savior's love for me and the wonderful blessings that can come to us through adversity.  I am a lucky girl to know that He loves me enough to give me trials that teach me about the atonement and how it not only applies to sin, but also to the pain that we often endure in this life.

My family always goes to Bear Lake over the fourth of July.  I will not be going this year.... It is a bummer, with 6 herniated disc's in my back and sciatica in my lower back, I would miserable and not a happy camper.  I wish I could be with them, but there is always next year!

I am enjoying my home and my sweet neighbors.  I love living in a culdesac! (not sure I spelled that right)  After church yesterday my cute neighbor who is 12 brought me little cupcakes she made because she said she liked my talk.  It was sweet.  They were grape I believe...I have never had a grape cupcake! LOL

I love all the babies in my ward!  It is so much fun to be the honorary Auntie and makes losing my baby a little easier when I hold a sweet little one.

Well I will write more this week and post pictures!  Until then carry on and know that I am thankful for all of you.
Let's talk soon!

A 3 year old's perspective!

Hello Family and Friends,

It has been months since I have updated my blog.  It is crazy how fast time goes by!  I cannot believe how fast this past year has zipped on by.  I am so looking forward to going back to work soon.

My friend's little boy was jumping in my pile of leaves this afternoon.  I loved doing that when I was a little girl.  Some days I wish that jumping in leaves was as much fun now, with my luck I would break a leg....

Anyway, he jumped in the smaller portion of the leaves and landed pretty hard, he got up dusted his pants off and then said with a sigh.."life is pretty hard sometimes"  It made me laugh so hard. His rough landing was pretty hard, it also has made me think about what we can learn, when life truly is really hard.

The election this year was pretty hard on my nerves at times, I got so sick of hearing everyone fighting each other.  To be honest, I wish there had been a diffrerent outcome.  I will support our President and pray for him and for our country.

I was talking to a good friend last week who is going through some very hard times.  Life for him has been very hard, and he struggles daily to be strong and endure the challenges we are all given.  I have so much respect for him for his trials have been long and continue to be hard.

As hard as life can be, it also can bring such happiness and joy to all of us.  I have a brand new niece.  Her name is Chloe.  She is adorable.  I held her shortly after she was born and thought to myself what a gift she is to our family. When I held her I wondered how thin the veil truly was and how close that sweet baby is to our Father in Heaven.  I think I might call and pay her a little visit.  She makes me happy.  She was born the same month my baby would have been born, if I had not miscarried.

I have been writing something I am grateful for this month.  It kind of makes me feel bad that I do not write something every day of the year that I am thankful for.  There are so many blessings I have been given and I want you to know how blessed my life is for those gifts everyday, not just in November.

My Christmas decorations are up early this year.  Thanks to my friend Tracy Barlow for helping me drag them all out and put them up.  It is nice to have a dear friend who happens to be a very talented florist and professional decorator.  My house feels so cozy.  As much as I love having them up this early, I am sure I will be wanting to rip them down by Christmas..LOL

I told Tracy before I opened up my Monica closet (If you watched Friends, you will know what I mean, she was OCD about her house but had a secret closet that was filled to the brim with stuff) mine looks just like that..... Now the secret is out.... When I opened the closet Tracy just laughed, it is great that he knows me so well.  My goal after Christmas is to organize my Monica closet.....LOL

I now need to think about Christmas shopping.. I don't have a ton to do, but I enjoy thinking about what my loved ones and friends would like as a gift from me. 

Christmas is my favorite time of the year.  I am thankful for the birth of our Savior and His sacrifice for each of us.

I want all of you to know (this just might be my mom, since I am sure not many people read this) how much you mean to me.  I am so lucky to have so many dear friends and wonderful family who are so good to me. 

I sure love my home and the peace I find here.  I have been writing several new songs and look forward to one day finishing a collection of my music.  Even when life is hard, I find solace in being able to sit down and express my feelings through music. 

Well... I am going to bed!  It is late and hopefully I will be able to sleep.  I learned a great lesson today from little Josh Sarmento... Yes, life is hard, yes we will hit some bumps in the road and yes we are loved beyond our comprehension from the One who sacrificed His life so that ours would be eaiser. 

Please keep in touch with me.  I really do love you all and let's do lunch!


Miracles Happen

Hello family and friends,

It has been a long time since I have posted anything.  I never have been great at writing in a journal, so it stands to reason that I am not on top of keeping my blog current.

There have been so many amazing things that have happened to people I love in the past couple of months.  Quiet miracles, new babies, new jobs and new hope.  I am so happy for all of the great things happening to the most deserving people I love. 

Paul and Lynette Cardall just had a little baby girl a couple of weeks ago.  I am so happy for them and their sweet family.  Eliza is such a gift to this world.  Paul and Lynette are truly gifts in my life and have taught me as Paul would say "Miracles Happen"  I can hardly wait to give little Eliza a hug.  I am thankful for the Lord's hand in blessing my life with such good people.

I have a friend who is struggling so much regarding the gospel.  He feels that he is too far away and does not believe that he can come back.  I love him and I want him to know that our Savior is waiting with open arms and all of the love He has for my friend, if he will only ask.... I pray for him every day but only he can ask the Lord and I know our Savior's arms are waiting to hold him as he finds his way back.

I have another friend who lost his wife and baby a little over a year ago.  He is raising three small children by himself and just relocated to go to medical school.  He amazes me and reminds me daily to "press forward with a steadfastness in Christ"  What a wonderful example he is to me.

I am so lucky where I live, I love my home and have a wonderful ward.  I can never repay them for their love and support in my life over the past few years.  Several people have asked me lately just what is going on in my life.  Here is the readers digest version.......  I have had 2 PE's (blood clots) that went through my heart and into my lungs doing extensive damage to my heart and lungs.  It also resulted in a blood disorder.  They found three tumors during that time, one behind my heart, one in my liver and some in my lower back.  They did surgery to remove the tumor behind my heart a year ago, it was pretty rough, but I am tough and I made it!  I lost a baby, went through a divorce, lost a step-son and thought I had hit rock bottom.  Then..... I was in a terrible car accident that changed my life pretty much forever.  I have Type 1 diabetes so that complicates everything and have had severe side effects due to the trauma my body has faced.  I won't bore you with anymore details, and I am not writing this so that you feel sorry for me.  The truth is, I would go through all of it again, to know the Savior and trust Him with my life.  I have never been closer to Him and have learned that I would never have made it through these temporary set backs in life without Him.

My ward is one of the most precious gifts in my life.  There are countless people who have brought in meals, called, stopped by, prayed for me and always lift my spirits.  I can never repay them for the love and support that they are to me.

I love my family, they are crazy and fun and I do not know what I would do without them.  My mom and Chuck have been there for me whenever I have needed them.  It is amazing that Mothers just know when their children need them, my Mom has always been there for me and I love her very much.

My nieces are coming for two weeks to visit from California.  I am so excited to see them and spend some time with them.  I love all of my nieces and nephews, they are great kids who have awesome parents!

I apologize if sometimes I get a little wimpy on facebook, I try to stay positive, but sometimes it just sucks!

The bottom line is simply this (Paul I am borrowing this from you)  Miracles do happen, they happen every day.  I see them in my life, in the lives of those I love and those I will know one day.  I am thankful for the many miracles I have felt, seen and been a part of.  I love all of you! 

Let's go to lunch soon.... give me a call, I would love to hear from all of you.