The Little Things......

Hello Friends and Family!

Today has been such a good day.  I did not do very much today but am so grateful for everything I have been blessed with.

I am having my bathroom redone, it is so beautiful.  The tiles are between tan and chocolate in color with a border of cremes tans and chocolates in the shower.  I love it.  I also have two new light fixtures, one hanging above the landing and a new fan in my bedroom.  I love the changes!  It is so nice to have a few changes in my home that make it mine again.... replacing old and sometimes painful reminders with new and updated ones is fun and theraputic!

I also had a chance this week to take the top down on my bug and run around.  I swear it is the best therapy for me.  Once that top is down and my music is cranked up I feel so great!  It is nice to have the wind blowing through your hair and it really does something for your mood as well.  I highly recommend it to everyone!

My recovery is still somewhat slow.  I feel a little better everyday, my heart is still not functioning as it should and so I get tired very quickly and my lungs are still not very strong. 

I am hoping by the end of the summer I am singing again and being able to speak at different church and other functions as I have in the past.  I was so worried I would never sing again  as weak as my voice still is, I am so thankful to have it!

I loved watching the Royal Wedding!  Kate looked so beautiful and I believe it was such a nice break hearing about a true fairy tale wedding to take our minds off of the turmoil the world is in for a moment.

I hope you are well and happy, I am so humbled for the little things in my life that pull me through each and everyday!  Have a great week and we will talk soon!


I hope all of you had a fantastic Easter!  I sure had fun with my family!  You never know what is going to happen when you get all of us together... We talked about three legged cats and were mooned...all in the fun of being together as a family!

I was thankful and humbled to be in church on Easter Sunday.  Our ward choir sang and they were wonderful!! I love feeling the spirit through music.  I am thankful for the atonement and for the life my Savior gave for me.

Today has been a tough day.  My husband and I seperated nine months ago.  I filed for divorce on August 22nd.  He promised to sign the papers and waive the 30 day I said that was nine months ago.  He has refused to pay anything on any bill we had including his health inusrance.  He also has made my life a living hell by just plain being mean and seeing what he can get away with.

I have had many many different feelings during this time in my life.  I did not get married to get divorced, with that said, I don't know this person,he is different and not the man that I thought I married.  I have such mixed feelings, mostly hurt.   He has hurt me, my family and my friends, for that I am so sad.  I just pray that he will let me go so that both of us can move forward in a positive direction in our lives. 

My health is also getting very old.  I sick and tired of being sick and tired.  I want my life back, I want to go to work everyday, work in my yard, hang out with my family and friends.  Most days I wake up and want to go back to bed, the pain is worse if I think about it.  I try to focus on other things to keep me busy.  I worry about my heart, I am in congestive heart failure and have dyastoilic dysfunction on the right side of my heart.  I have had PE's that have almost done me in, and neuropathy in feet so severe that I don't feel the pain much of having three broken toes.

I have to say though that I am very blessed, through good friends and family, I can pull through this.  My Savior carries me everyday so that I make it to the next.  I love him and am eternally grateful for the gospel and my relationship with Him!

My brother called me on Easter and my neices wanted Auntie Karley to sing them a song.  I love to sing and it meant more to me hearing them ask me to sing than singing in front of the many many people I have over the years.  I have started writing music again and hope to get back into the studio someday soon.  It is good therapy and a great outlet!

I wish life were easy, and yet I am thankful for the hard lessons that bring me closer to Him!

We will talk soon!!

Floods of Blessings

Hello Everyone,

I almost feel like I should be outside building an ark! I cannot believe the amount of rain we have had over the past few weeks.  I feel for those whose homes have been flooded and crops destroyed by the rain.  I also feel grateful for the amount of moisture we have been blessed with.

In thinking about the floods that are surrounding us, reminds me of the flood of blessings that the Savior pours down upon us daily.  Sometimes I get so caught up in my own storms that I fail to recognize the vast amount of blessings that are poured down upon me.

My heart is tender as I reflect on this Easter season and the sacrifice that Jesus Christ bore for me.  It is difficult to comprehend everything He endured.  He chose to endure it for each of us, there is no greater gift or blessing we could ever have that would compare to His gift of love through the sacrifices and the blood He shed for us.

I am thankful for the blessings that flood our lives daily.  For the gift of a new day, and for the promise of a new tomorrow.  May each of you remember the blessings that are flooded down upon us from the Savior not only during this season but everyday of our lives.

Happy Easter!
We will talk soon!

Home Sweet Home

Hello Everyone,

It is so crazy how much snow there has been in the past three days!  I cannot believe it.  It is nice to be inside my cozy home, it is my safe place, refuge and I love where I live.  It got me to thinking about safe places in our lives.  I feel the most secure and safe as I keep a close relationship with our Savior.  His place in my heart and life is the very safest place for me.  I remember not long ago feeling panicked and alone during a difficult time.  I was shaking and crying and trying really hard to totally fall apart.  All of a sudden a thought came clear and strong to get on my knees and hand it over to My Father in Heaven. I knelt by the side of my bed and I talked to Him, I told him how I felt as tears flooded my eyes.  I ask him to help me feel safe.  At that moment, the fear and anxiety left, that quickly it was gone and instead I felt this incredible sense of love and of peace.  I felt safe in the arms of my Father in Heaven and His Son, my Savior.

My house has been a source of difficulty since I have had some health issues.  I usually am somewhat OCD.. actually quite a bit and sometimes I go crazy because things are not perfectly cleaned, dusted and vacumed.  There are dishes in my sink, laundry to be done and cupboards to be cleaned.  Yet, dispite the clutter and such, I feel so peaceful here. I feel the spirit in my home and that is the most comforting and lovely place for me to be.

The bottom line for me is that wherever we are, we have the Savior whose heart is our home our refuge and our greatest source of comfort.  Since we are only here on earth for a season, imagine what it will be like being at home with Him oneday.  I cannot comprehend, nor am I ready to leave this earth, but oneday we all will be blessed to live with Him again!

With that said, I am going to run.... do a little cleaning, read a little and be thankful for my home here on earth and in heaven!

We will talk soon!  Have a fun day in the snow!

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

Hello Everyone,

Can you believe that it is April 7th and we have at least three inches of snow on the ground?  I feel like pulling out my Christmas tree and turning the Forgotton Carols on!

Today has been very frustrating for me with my health.  I have a blood disorder and my clotting factors have not been stabilized for months.  I went in today, feeling positive (and a little like frosty the snowman) and once again I am not theraputic!  This means my medication is adjusted again and I feel crappy!  I should not complain, but I am ready to get my life back to normal (whatever normal is these days) 

I took Zoey (my three year old basset hound) to the vet today to get her nails clipped.  I swear she is bi-polar.  She is the sweetest dog until you touch her feet.. Then watch out.  She bit me, the vet and it took three techs to hold her down and trim her nails!  They usually charge me 7.00 but today since she was such a grouch they said "That will be twenty dollars"  She came home as happy as a clam and is sleeping soundly as I am writing.  I was mad!  She is such a stinker.  But a cute little dog... When I say little she weighs almost 70 pounds, has long ears, and tiny legs....

I watched American Idol tonight, I cannot believe that they voted Pia off!  She was one of my favorite's..... I am so addicted to reality TV!  I know that is sad, but true! 

Well I am going to run.... maybe I will make a snowmen with Zoey tomorrow..:)
Talk to you soon!

Such A Nice Day!

Hello Everyone, I either have too much time on my hands or this could become a new a  addiction for me.  It actually is kind of theraputic in a way!

Although it is a little chilly I took my cute little bug, put the top down (turned the heat up) and went on a little ride.

As I was driving around, I thought of what a nice day it was and how lucky I feel to wake up everyday.  Life is not perfect and sometimes not easy, but it is a blessing to life each day to the fullest.  I really like the song "Live Like You are Dying"  For me it is very touching, because everyday is a gift and we should live it as if it were our last.  I have a friend that has gone through a painful few years, he has endured many trials and has such a positive and fun attiutude. I love him and am thankful for his example and friendship to me, it has also taught me that no matter what life hands you, you can choose to be miserable or choose to be happy... I choose to be happy!  Well I am off... we will talk later!

Hello Friends!

This is my first offical blog ever!  I decided to have a blog that I could write and keep family and friends updated on what is going on in my life.  It has been a very rough and yet tender couple of years for me.  My marriage has ended (the divorce is not final yet) I don't believe for one second you go into a marriage ever thinking that divorce will happen to you.  Well it did, and it hurts, and I have learned more about myself than I ever thought possible during this trial.

I also have literally struggled to stay alive in the past year.  I have suffered two major PE's in both lungs (blood clots that traveled through my heart and into my lungs) I also was in a car accident almost a year ago that has effected my health for life.  I joke about owning a wing at my favorite resort "McKay Dee Hospital" but it has been hard and I have wondered at times how I could go on.  I have had serious complications due to Type 1 diabetes as a result of all of the other stress my body has gone through, not to mention a mass behind my heart that had to be removed.  During this time I have shed thousands of tears, I have feared the worst and I have been blessed beyond comprehension at the love of my Savior and such a wonderful family and friends who have walked, cried and held me up when I felt weak.  I am thankful for the atonement of Jesus Christ and for the love that He has given me.

I am a better person because of the trials I have faced.  I love more, I am more patient, I trust more and I am humbled that I have been given such lessons to teach me these things.

I have to thank my Mom and Dad, without loving parents I would not be here.  I can count on my Mom who is my best friend day and night.  I know it has been hard for her to watch me struggle, but she is one of the most compassionate and loving people I know.  I love her so much. Most people have only one father, I was blessed with two.  My biological dad was in and out of my life and that is how it was as achild.  He passed away nine years ago and while I love him for many things, my father in this life has been Chuck.  He and my Mom were married about 16 years ago.  We all grew up in the same ward.  It was hard for me at first, even as an adult to understand what his role would be in my life.  I now know that he is the Dad that I always always have wanted to have and never had that chance with my father growing up.  He is funny, he is kind and he loves me. For that I am so humbled and thankful to my Father in Heaven.

To my friends, what would I do without you!  Thank you for making me laugh!  There have times where there are two choices laughter or tears... thank you for showing me the laughter through the tears.  I love you all.

Well I am going to sign off for now, as I learn more about this whole blogging thing, I will post pictures.  We will talk later.....