It is all about love.......

Hello Everyone,

It is 2 AM and I am wide awake.  I have taken an luck and since I cannot shut off my brain, here I am at the computer So many experiences I have had over the past several weeks have made me think so clearly at the Lord's love for each of us. Life is not easy, I am thankful for laughter, it seems to get me through the rough patches, but I also realize that there is a time and a purpose for what happens in our lives...

I had such a great time with my family this past weekend.. (I will post pictures) we went to my Mom's and had dinner and played card games until late.. I love my family, I am very lucky, I have great brothers, a sister parents who are amazing and the best nieces and nephews one could ask for. My niece Frannie said "Auntie Karley, you do not look a day over 32!"  I said well that sounds good to me!  It was a fun time, I missed my brother Mike and Chris and his family.

Elder Maxwell once said
"Patience is tied very closely to faith in our Heavenly Father. Actually, when we are unduly impatient, we are suggesting that we know what is best—better than does God. Or, at least, we are asserting that our timetable is better than His. We can grow in faith only if we are willing to wait patiently for God's purposes and patterns to unfold in our lives, on His timetable."
As many of you know, I am not very patient.  My health has been one of my greatest challenges in the past two years, and it is not over yet.  However, I feel peace, (peace does not clean your house) but it cleans your heart.  I have faith in a loving Savior and knowing that He knows me personally is humbling and peaceful.
My best friend has cancer again.  She has had it about two years ago in her breast and now it is back.  It is so hard for me to wrap my head around why we are given such challenges and yet I think we have to somehow rely on His timetable.  It is not fun, sometimes painful and I have lost count of the tears that I cry thinking about all of memories we have shared and what lies ahead.  I trust Heavenly Father will comfort her and give me the strength to be there whenever she needs me.
Another friend this week sent me a message, confirming what I have known for years.  This friend was afraid to tell me, thinking I would run away, If I choose to run I would into his arms and tell him everything will be okay.  The truth of the matter is, it is not going to be okay, in fact it is going to affect many people and hurt several hearts. One thing I know although I am not certain of how it will play out is that our Savior loves us and He knows our intentions and hearts.
I also had a long talk with my brother in California, he is struggling as well, life is so hard and I so wish that I could give him a big hug and tell him how proud I am of the father he is to my nieces.  They love him so much.  My mother raised my brother and I alone for most of our lives, she loved us, is there for us and has given her life for her family.  We are the lucky ones and I believe we chose her as our Mother. I love you MOM!
One last story. Wendy Mack passed away almost three months ago.  She lost her baby and her sweet husband lost his precious wife and baby girl.  Wendy and I crossed paths not too long ago, and she was there for me in way no one else could have been, I knew the Savior sent her into my life at the right time. She was called home suddenly and we are left to wonder why?  Once again I believe in the His timetable althougth I do not understand it.  I don't know this family very well but I have felt the sweet spirit those children and her wonderful husband have.  I know that good things are in store for them as they travel down the unfamiliar path.  I want them to know that I love them for the gentle ways they have taught what it means to become more like Him.
These experiences are teaching me what Love is.  How much our Savior loves us, it is through him that we can learn together.  Each of us have two shoulders, what a blessing it is to know that should we need one to lean on it will be there for us.  The lord has promised, "I will not leave you comfortless; I will come to you"
Thank you for walking down the roads of life with me and for teaching me the importance of each road block, lane change, and uphill battles that we sometimes are asked to walk.  I love you all!

Summer Fun..well not so much!

It is 5 A.M and once again I am wide awake.  I have learned that I probably should be up and productive when I can't sleep, but that would detract from all the junk on TV in the middle of the night!

Last week I came down with a summer cold, or at least that is what it started out as!  After dealing with it for four days I went into the doctor.  It turns out it is summer pneumonia.  I feel okay as long as I don't breathe or cough..LOL  I should be able to kick stuff like this, however, with my lungs still being somewhat compromised from the PE's it just doesn't  happen that way.

Life is gradually returning to normal (whatever normal is) and I am thankful for that.  I need to get back to work.  I will be glad when fall gets here and I can be officially cleared from the doctors to return to work.

I sure love my home.  It is such a place of comfort for me.  I love the people I live by and I belong to the most awesome ward!  Everyone should be as lucky as I am.

I am excited to see Maggie and Frannie next Sunday, they are coming in from California.  I miss those girls so much!  I can hardly wait to give them a big hug from their favorite Auntie.  I need to post recent pictures of all of my niece's and nephews, they are all growing up so fast.  Parker is 15 and Madisen is 16... I remember when they were just babies... Time goes by so fast.  It doesn't seem possible that all of them are growing into such sweet kids.  I love you..Parker, Isaac, Eli, Madisen, Mylee, Bridger, Skyler, Gabe, Tyler, Ellie, Maggie, Fran and baby Richard!

I also have struggled a little trying to find myself.  I apologize to those I may be a little short with.  It is hard for me to trust again after the past few years with Josh.  I wish things had been different but I imagine after a season I will relax and open my heart to whatever the Lord has in store for me.  Until then please be patient with me.

I love my bug!  It has been fun to get out and run around and is great therapy for my soul. 

I also have thought so much about the Mack family and what they have gone through, it has made me realize that everyday is a gift, a priceless gift, we never know the season of which our Father in Heaven will call us back home.  I believe that we need to make everyday count.  If we could treat each other as if it were our last, hug a little longer, spend an extra few minutes expressing our love for one another and living with no regret what a gift not only for us, but for the ones we love.

Well I guess since I am up, I will attempt to clean my house so that you don't see me on some crazy TV show with the messiest house in town...LOL  Have a great day!

Talk to you soon!

The New Normal~

Hello Everyone!~

I cannot believe it is almost the middle of July!  Time flys by and I am hoping (keep your fingers crossed for me) that I can go back to work in the fall!  I just need to make sure my INR is stable and my heart is healing.  I am so excited to get back to normal.  It is weird because my life has been anything but normal the past couple of years.

My divorce is final!  It only took a year when it should have only taken a few months.  Josh insisted up until the end to make things difficult for me.  It is strange to think that at this time last summer I was married, had the most adorable little Ethan and now... life has changed completely. I am thankful that I can move forward, I know it was the right thing to do.  It is just very strange to be single again.

I also find myself in such a weird place emotionally.  I do not know who I am anymore.  I want to be happy and able to enjoy life to the fullest.  I want to spend time with family and friends who love me and make me a better person. 

I am excited about my future and pray that I can find love again.  That I find someone who loves the Lord, wants an eternal family and all the happiness that life has to offer.

This month I turn another year older..BOO!  I don't like the fact that I am going to be 25 again, but it is true....LOL

Well I had better wrap things up, I have a busy day tomorrow!  I wish I was Samantha from Bewitched... I could just wiggle my nose and my house and other chores would be done... Reality is I need to quit putting things off and get busy!

I hope your summer is going well.... Let's talk soon!


Tender Mercies


This past week there have been surprises around every corner, sometimes they have not been as pleasant as I would like, but nevertheless they have come.  I was reading this week a talk given by Elder Bednar on "Tender Mercies"  I believe the talk was given in 2005 but I am not sure.  He stated the following ......

"We should not underestimate or overlook the power of the Lord’s tender mercies. The simpleness, the sweetness, and the constancy of the tender mercies of the Lord will do much to fortify and protect us in the troubled times in which we do now and will yet live. When words cannot provide the solace we need or express the joy we feel, when it is simply futile to attempt to explain that which is unexplainable, when logic and reason cannot yield adequate understanding about the injustices and inequities of life, when mortal experience and evaluation are insufficient to produce a desired outcome, and when it seems that perhaps we are so totally alone, truly we are blessed by the tender mercies of the Lord and made mighty even unto the power of deliverance (see 1 Ne. 1:20)"

As I read this, I thought of the times during the past year I have felt totally alone and yet during those times I cannot explain the tender mercies that have been poured down upon me at the very moment I was needing them.  I have often thought that tender mercies are found only in the scriptures or those who are in leadership positions, I know now that is not how the Lord works.  He provides tender mercies to all of us on an individual and personal basis.

I have a friend who is struggling right now. I have known him for 15 or 16 years.  We have both had a tough several years.  I didn't hear from him for several weeks and wondered what I may have done to upset or offend him.  So... I did the dumbest thing, I wrote a little message on facebook in which I thought he did not want to be friends anymore since I had not heard from him in a while..... then when I did not hear from him, I sent yet another brilliant message and he wrote me back.... This is where I learned the most valuable lesson.  He has been struggling with something very tender to his heart.  He has been sad and alone.  It hit me like a lead balloon, why hadn't I called him, I had been thinking of him, even praying of how I could help him... and I did not act upon those feelings.  Tender mercies were sent into my heart for him and I failed to follow through.  I love him very much, he is one of the kindest, funniest and loyal friends to have.  I am blessed to call him my friend.  My point to this personal story is this..... we are all given hard things to deal with in this life, some of them really hard! and yet we have each other and the tender mercies that the Savior willingly provides to us in our hour of need.  Through another person, a blessing, family etc.  He loves us and he wants us to be happy.  I have learned this week that I need to do more when I am prompted and thank the Lord for His tender mercies in my behalf and those that I love.

Well I am starting to sound like a conference talk, so I will hush.  I am thankful to you all, most of all I am thankful for the tender mercies that are each of us are given through every season in our lives...

Let's talk soon!