"The New Year" 2012

Hello Everyone!

Happy New Year! I cannot believe another year has gone by. It amazes me how fast time flies by. I ended up spending New Year's Eve and four other days back in the hospital. I think I have been in there enough that they should name the critical care unit "Karley's Wing" I am thankful for modern medicine and good doctors that have pulled me through the last several years. For those of you who don't know what is going on with my health I will give you the reader's digest version. I have a blood clotting disorder that has caused two massive PE's in my lungs over the past two years. Because of this disorder it is very hard to keep my INR at a theraputic level. When I get sick it goes crazy and because my blood is so thin I end up having GI bleeds and super high blood pressure. Having type 1 diabetes does not help as well. It has been frustrating and difficult to deal with. There have been times when I just want to give up! However, I am so thankful for a wonderful family and ward who support and lift me up during those dark hours. (One side note is that there are a couple of cute doctors I have met along the journey) of course, I am anything but pretty at that point....LOL

This year my goal is to be in good health, get a good job and really be able to live again. I am so happy in my home. I love my ward, my bishop, visiting teachers and friends and neighbors who go above and beyond in everything they do. They are an inspiration to me. I hope that I can oneday repay them somehow for all of the service and love they have shown.

I love my family. I went with my Mom for a little while today. I love her so much and am so thankful for her love for me. I am a lucky girl to have her for my mother.

While I was in the hospital, I was so sick that I told my mom I just wanted to die. I was at my wits end. She called my step-dad and my Uncle Rodney to give me a blessing. It was very sweet and sacred. In the blessing I was told that I needed to rest and take care of myself or the Lord would call me home early. It scared me so much. I have thought of those words often and will do whatever it takes to stay on this side of the veil and serve Him. I appreciate the patience the Lord has had with me. I can be very stubborn and I worry about everything. I told the Lord, I will turn it over to Him and I will follow His plan for me.

So.... I am trying not to worry so much and do everything medically that I need to so that my tired body can heal and be of service to others.

This month is bittersweet for me. My Dad died 10 years ago on January 13th. He was just 62 when he died. I miss him. He was very funny. My brother Mike and my sisters and I have his sense of humor which I am very thankful for. When he was in Utah the last time, I picked him up at the airport and was driving him, Susie and Amy around Salt Lake. He was sitting next to me in the car and said "Karley, I am so proud of you, I did not think about dying once while you were driving today.." thanks Dad! He always had something to say about everyone's driving..

I still have not taken my Christmas decorations down. It is time! I love putting Christmas up, but it is so much work to take it down and then my house looks so empty...

I am looking forward to seeing an old friend this weekend. I bet I have not seen him in 13 years. I am kind of nervous and excited. He has always held a special place in my heart.

Well I suppose I should go to bed, so that I can work on the Christmas nightmare that awaits me tomorrow!

I wish you all a Happy New Year! This year I hope we see each other more, make time for the simple things and remember how much I love you all!

Let's talk soon!
Karley