Trying to Understand.......

“Patient endurance permits us to cling to our faith in the Lord and our faith in His timing when we are being tossed about by the surf of circumstance. Even when a seeming undertow grasps us, somehow, in the tumbling, we are being carried forward, though battered and bruised.”
― Neal A. Maxwell

My heart aches for the Cox family today. It pretty much has been on my mind all day and all night. I cannot shake the horrific murders of two innocent boys and the terrible death of their mother at the hands of their father.

Life is so fragile. You never know what will happen from one minute to the next. Circumstances out of our control often change courses that can cause undue hurt to our hearts and souls.

I have not blogged for almost a month. The truth is, I am struggling. My heart is tired and lonely. There are situations happening in my family and friends as well as my own life that have been taxing on my spirit. I don't feel that I have anything to give right now. So I have taken a break.

I am sorry if I have not been there for some of you. It is not personal at all. It is where I am in my life, I am trying to find myself.

I have a strong testimony of the gospel, I love the Savior and to Him I owe everything. He continues to hear me when I pray, when I cry and when I long to have a companion in my life again.

He is in the wind, in the sun, in my heart and in my soul. I am so thankful for that. I am thankful for all I have learned in this long winter season of my life. I would not change my relationship with Him for anything. I just hope to see spring around the corner soon.

I am ready to start dating again. How scary is that to throw it out there. I am scared and I am insecure. I want more than anything to be able to love someone with all of my heart, to be a mother and to have someone love me back. I hate being alone. It has been a long season and terrible length of time since I have felt loved by someone.

I want you to know that through the storms each of us face, I know there is the Son that shines through all of the rain and tears we shed. That Son is always with us and I am thankful for the warmth it brings me.

Keep in touch with me, I need all of you. I love you and am thankful for you and for the examples you have always been in my life.

Let's talk soon!

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