It is 2 AM and I am wide awake. I have taken an ambien...no luck and since I cannot shut off my brain, here I am at the computer So many experiences I have had over the past several weeks have made me think so clearly at the Lord's love for each of us. Life is not easy, I am thankful for laughter, it seems to get me through the rough patches, but I also realize that there is a time and a purpose for what happens in our lives...
I had such a great time with my family this past weekend.. (I will post pictures) we went to my Mom's and had dinner and played card games until late.. I love my family, I am very lucky, I have great brothers, a sister parents who are amazing and the best nieces and nephews one could ask for. My niece Frannie said "Auntie Karley, you do not look a day over 32!" I said well that sounds good to me! It was a fun time, I missed my brother Mike and Chris and his family.
Elder Maxwell once said
"Patience is tied very closely to faith in our Heavenly Father. Actually, when we are unduly impatient, we are suggesting that we know what is best—better than does God. Or, at least, we are asserting that our timetable is better than His. We can grow in faith only if we are willing to wait patiently for God's purposes and patterns to unfold in our lives, on His timetable."
As many of you know, I am not very patient. My health has been one of my greatest challenges in the past two years, and it is not over yet. However, I feel peace, (peace does not clean your house) but it cleans your heart. I have faith in a loving Savior and knowing that He knows me personally is humbling and peaceful.
My best friend has cancer again. She has had it about two years ago in her breast and now it is back. It is so hard for me to wrap my head around why we are given such challenges and yet I think we have to somehow rely on His timetable. It is not fun, sometimes painful and I have lost count of the tears that I cry thinking about all of memories we have shared and what lies ahead. I trust Heavenly Father will comfort her and give me the strength to be there whenever she needs me.
Another friend this week sent me a message, confirming what I have known for years. This friend was afraid to tell me, thinking I would run away, If I choose to run I would into his arms and tell him everything will be okay. The truth of the matter is, it is not going to be okay, in fact it is going to affect many people and hurt several hearts. One thing I know although I am not certain of how it will play out is that our Savior loves us and He knows our intentions and hearts.
I also had a long talk with my brother in California, he is struggling as well, life is so hard and I so wish that I could give him a big hug and tell him how proud I am of the father he is to my nieces. They love him so much. My mother raised my brother and I alone for most of our lives, she loved us, is there for us and has given her life for her family. We are the lucky ones and I believe we chose her as our Mother. I love you MOM!
One last story. Wendy Mack passed away almost three months ago. She lost her baby and her sweet husband lost his precious wife and baby girl. Wendy and I crossed paths not too long ago, and she was there for me in way no one else could have been, I knew the Savior sent her into my life at the right time. She was called home suddenly and we are left to wonder why? Once again I believe in the His timetable althougth I do not understand it. I don't know this family very well but I have felt the sweet spirit those children and her wonderful husband have. I know that good things are in store for them as they travel down the unfamiliar path. I want them to know that I love them for the gentle ways they have taught what it means to become more like Him.
These experiences are teaching me what Love is. How much our Savior loves us, it is through him that we can learn together. Each of us have two shoulders, what a blessing it is to know that should we need one to lean on it will be there for us. The lord has promised, "I will not leave you comfortless; I will come to you"
Thank you for walking down the roads of life with me and for teaching me the importance of each road block, lane change, and uphill battles that we sometimes are asked to walk. I love you all!