Wishes

I hope all of you had a fantastic Easter!  I sure had fun with my family!  You never know what is going to happen when you get all of us together... We talked about three legged cats and were mooned...all in the fun of being together as a family!

I was thankful and humbled to be in church on Easter Sunday.  Our ward choir sang and they were wonderful!! I love feeling the spirit through music.  I am thankful for the atonement and for the life my Savior gave for me.

Today has been a tough day.  My husband and I seperated nine months ago.  I filed for divorce on August 22nd.  He promised to sign the papers and waive the 30 day wait......like I said that was nine months ago.  He has refused to pay anything on any bill we had including his health inusrance.  He also has made my life a living hell by just plain being mean and seeing what he can get away with.

I have had many many different feelings during this time in my life.  I did not get married to get divorced, with that said, I don't know this person,he is different and not the man that I thought I married.  I have such mixed feelings, mostly hurt.   He has hurt me, my family and my friends, for that I am so sad.  I just pray that he will let me go so that both of us can move forward in a positive direction in our lives. 

My health is also getting very old.  I sick and tired of being sick and tired.  I want my life back, I want to go to work everyday, work in my yard, hang out with my family and friends.  Most days I wake up and want to go back to bed, the pain is worse if I think about it.  I try to focus on other things to keep me busy.  I worry about my heart, I am in congestive heart failure and have dyastoilic dysfunction on the right side of my heart.  I have had PE's that have almost done me in, and neuropathy in feet so severe that I don't feel the pain much of having three broken toes.

I have to say though that I am very blessed, through good friends and family, I can pull through this.  My Savior carries me everyday so that I make it to the next.  I love him and am eternally grateful for the gospel and my relationship with Him!

My brother called me on Easter and my neices wanted Auntie Karley to sing them a song.  I love to sing and it meant more to me hearing them ask me to sing than singing in front of the many many people I have over the years.  I have started writing music again and hope to get back into the studio someday soon.  It is good therapy and a great outlet!

I wish life were easy, and yet I am thankful for the hard lessons that bring me closer to Him!

We will talk soon!!