Cleaning House!

Hello Friends and Family!

I always wait until the last possible moment to clean my house when company is coming!  I am such a slacker and so true to form, I am writing a new blog and looking at my messy bedroom instead of cleaning it!  Tomorrow should be fun since Michele will be here on Wednesday!

I am so excited Michele is coming for a visit.  We went to OHS together, I love the connections that I have made on facebook and the wonderful friendships new and old!   Way to go Mark Zuckerberg!

Well now I must confess... I am so happy the new bachlorette is on!  That Ashley is so cute!  Some of those guys.... well there are crazies everywhere!  I think she will pick Ryan! He was the first one to step out of the limo and got the first impression rose!

In thinking about cleaning house, I think about all of the things in my life that need constant cleaning and attention.  I am profoundly thankful for our Savior and for His love for me.  He helps me focus on the meaningful and proper things to always be aware of.  I have two rocks that my friend Mandi brought back for me when she visited the Garden of Gethsemane.  They sit on my dresser and are such priceless gifts and reminders to me that each and everyday my attention should be turned in the direction of my Savior and how I can become more like Him.

I am learning so much about myself.  Being through what I have in the past year physically has been so tough.  I had 2 PE's in my lungs, CHF, Dyastolic dysfunction on the right side of my heart, a mass behind my heart that had to be removed, a car accident that caused my to have my rotator cuff repaired and another PE as a complication.  Type 1 diabetes that has caused neuropathy and gastroperisis... and other issues.  I don't write this to complain, I just wonder at times why all of this had to happen in one year....

I also mourn the loss of my marriage.  It was the right thing to do, but the most painful choice I had to make.  How do you keep a smile on your face when behind the smile are so many tears for what could have been.  I am not perfect by a long shot, but I sure tried to be a good wife, stepmother and friend.  I wish that Josh and I had been on the same page or could have understood each other's needs better.  I don't hate him.  I loved him.  I just am hurt and it will take time for me to work through that.  This item will need some additional attention and a lot of prayer.  I would like to marry again oneday, with that said, I want to be whole first and be able to trust again.

I love all of you so much!  Even those of you I don't know very well, I just think that you are a new friend, not a stranger.  And those of you I do know well, I bet you wish I was probably  a stranger...LOL

Thank you for following my blog, for loving and supporting me and for all the laughter and priceless gifts each of you give to me everyday through your example to me!

We will talk soon!